Listening Jar

This year we are exploring big feelings and big emotions in the studio. Here is a Feeling Jar.  What is a Feeling Jar?  It's feeling touchstone.

When a child asks to make a Feeling Jar I respond, "What is a feeling that is hard to hold... hard to feel?" The child thinks of one and then holds the jar in their lap and feels that feeling.  Once they feel it, really feel it, they put that feeling into the jar and then we quickly pour a bit of clear glue on top to seal the emotion in place,  Next, we add water (everything grows better with a little water), some colorful sparkles and Orbeez . We seal the lid, make a label and voila'... a Feeling Jar is born. 

When shaken the emotion/glitter is stirred up. As the colors swirl, we take time to feel that feeling and breathe it in.  As we watch the glitter settle, our feeling does too.

All feelings have a natural lifecycle.  

Science tells us that a feeling, fully felt, only lasts 90 seconds. Avoided or resisted, that same feeling can morph and persist for days, weeks or even years. How?  The story we tell ourselves and others about that feeling can be a subtle attempt to mask, understand or control it... which is a kind of resistance.  If we act that feeling out at or against other people, we are trying to get rid of it like a hot potato. That doesn't work. What we resist, persists.

Feeling an emotion completely for 90 seconds can take some serious courage and presence.  So how can we help each other?  One way is to provide a caring, non-judgmental listening space.  This allows a feeling to rise and fall and for emotional regulation to develop.  It takes time and practice. We can offer this to one another.

The pictured jar is a Listening Jar made by a child who told me "Listening is hard to feel."  His jar is a feeling touchstone.  When staying on task in the classroom proves too difficult he can shake up his jar and watch it settle. After a few rounds, he is ready to resume his work. When he leaves the studio I'm reminded to approach my own tough feelings with as much willingness and honesty as he does his.

What big feelings or emotions are hard for you to feel?