“I can do it myself.”
I hear those four words often in the classroom.
Right alongside:
“Angelina, can you help me?”
Both are true.
Children are incredibly capable. They are also deeply relational. As an educator, I appreciate the paradoxes at the heart of human development: independence and collaboration, autonomy and interdependence, “I can do it myself” and “I need help” aren’t opposites. They occupy a shared space.
One of the most important things we can offer children is sufficient space to struggle.
Not to the point of a frustration that overwhelms them, but the kind of effort that stretches them just beyond what they can easily do. This is the zone of proximal development ... the sweet spot where learning happens. A child may not be able to do something completely alone yet, but with encouragement, observation, and the occasional bit of support, they discover that they can.
When children work through challenges, they begin to experience themselves as capable. They build persistence. They learn how to think.
This is why in Montessori environments we place such an emphasis on self-sufficiency. Children practice pouring their own water, caring for themselves, cleaning up their work, and caring for their environment. These everyday acts build autonomy and confidence.
Reggio-inspired classrooms add another dimension: collaboration. Children learn alongside one another, sharing ideas, building together, and constructing meaning as a group. When children work collectively, they create small cultures of learning... shared spaces, shared artifacts, shared discoveries.
Here at CGMS we value both.
Montessori and Reggio may look different on the surface, but they point toward the same truth:
I can do it.
And we can do it together.
Both independence and collaboration are essential foundations for the adults children will become. Humans are meant to be capable individuals who also know how to work, think, and care within community.
Recently, I’ve noticed more children asking for help or direction sooner than they might have in the past. Sometimes this simply means they’re looking for reassurance. Sometimes it’s because adults in their lives have gotten very good at helping quickly.
But children benefit when we pause before stepping in,
When possible, we can sit nearby, watch, and offer encouragement rather than solutions. A simple “You’re working hard on that” or “I see you figuring it out” can be enough. Often, if we give them a little time, they will discover that they can do more than they thought.
Healthy struggle is part of learning.
It’s how children build the inner voice that says, I can try. I can figure this out. (aka instrinsic learning).
And when they really need help, they learn something equally important: it’s okay to ask.(yep, encouraging them to ask will support their learning career more than you know).
In the end, both of those sentences matter.
“I can do it myself.”
…and…
“Can you help me?”
